Most Days....

Most days, I love being a tugboat wife and leading a tugboat life. Today is not one of those days.

Let me back up to say that years before I was a tugboat wife, I was a Navy wife. I was used to deployments and separations. I was used to holidays alone and going days (sometimes weeks or even months) not hearing from my husband. When Butch took this job, the 7 days apart didn't really bother us because of this. Besides, I can ride out to the dock most anytime they aren't busy and see him if I need to or want to. And in case of true emergencies, he can come home.

We often get asked how we manage to keep our relationship strong when we only spend half the year together.  It does provide challenges. Butch misses a lot, and I find myself either telling him the same thing multiple times because I forgot I already told him, or not telling him at all because I thought I already had.

In all honesty though, when people ask how we work to keep our marriage strong when we are apart so much, my answer usually surprises them. I tell them it is BECAUSE we are apart so much that it IS so strong. Butch and I did a little calculating...

If he worked an average 40 hour work week for 52 weeks a year, taking commute time and vacation and 8 hours a night for sleep into the calculations, we would be apart or asleep for roughly 5,213 hours per year.

On the tug, he works 26 weeks a year for 24 hour shifts. Figuring in commute time, work and sleep time, we are apart or asleep  roughly 5,306 hours a year.

Therefore, even though it seems we are apart much more than average couples we really aren't. However, it's the communication, both when he IS home and when he IS NOT home that matters. It's the everyday things that he misses, like when our cats do something funny or the Princess comes up with something. I tend to send him a lot of pictures from my phone, things like the cat in a pile of torn up toilet paper or a plate full of something I cooked. It's an effort to make him feel included in our everyday home life, even when he isn't home. And we text, all day long. Little things, like an "I love you" or "I miss you" or "Guess what the Princess just said?" that make us stay connected. He sends me pictures of what the crew is grilling for dinner or of a ship coming into the harbor. We talk off and on all day, whether through text or calls, and some days it feels like we have talked ALL DAY!

Today isn't one of those days though. In fact, it hasn't been one of those weeks. I feel very alone today, and this week has seemed long. It's been a week of a stopped up garbage disposal and tons of bills to pay. Today was a rainy cold day, and while I was running errands our truck wouldn't start when I tried to leave my first stop. I ended up getting it jumped off, and drove to the parts store. In the midst of the whole "Is it the battery/alternator/starter/connectors" issues, I felt very alone. Butch was on the tug, and seemed a million miles away. My Dad died when I was 21. Our best friend was celebrating his birthday clear across town. I don't have a brother. My closest brother in law is 3 hours away.And my other guy best friend was unpacking his moving truck having just moved back here.

In the middle of the auto parts store, sitting on a bench, as hard as I fought to stop it, I cried. I just cried. I felt very alone, and helpless. I was angry, because I couldn't fix the truck myself. I was scared, because I knew funds were limited and I didn't know what a starter/alternator/battery/connectors would cost. I felt very small and insignificant. And I felt ridiculous because I was CRYING in the auto parts store!!!!!!

I prayed. I reminded myself that God always provides and that He never leave us or forsakes us. I could hear the Scriptures in my head, reminding me that God was all of these things.....my provider of finances, my Daddy, my brother, and my friend. And that He ALWAYS KEEPS HIS PROMISES!

And just like God, it turned out that the battery was under full warranty, and that it was replaced for free. When the guy replaced my battery, he found it wasn't connecting well and filed some rust off of the connectors for me. I turned around, and my very dear friend who was in the process of moving had come to help me. Isn't it amazing how God always knows exactly what we need? A diagnosis of my truck issue, free replacement of the battery, free installation (and connection rust removal to boot) of the battery, and a big hug from a friend. Isn't that just like God?????

So Butch comes home tonight, and in just a few hours of him being here all will be right in my world again. It's just been a bad week. It happens. But you know what? The week is almost over, and the sun will rise again tomorrow. And as always...my God, my Jehovah Jireh, my Jehovah Roi, my Jehovah Shalom....will be right there with me.

Spotted on the River, while looking for our eagle....

 Just thought I'd share this little guy's profile pic!

I think that's Tug Georgia, but don't hold me to it! (I will ask Butch for clarification)

Sometimes it doesn't look like those ships will fit under the bridge!

River Views

Ok, so it's been a while! It didn't seem like this little bloggy was catching on much, so I semi-abandoned it. I stumbled across some pretty cool pics tonight so I figured I would give it another whirl.

Last October 19, Butcher and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. While I personally felt that one (okay...both) of us deserved the Congressional Medal of Honor for such a feat, no one else seemed to buy into it. I drove onto the island to pick Butch up and he was so excited! I foolishly thought it might have something to do with me/our anniversary/romance and all that jazz, but it was actually over something totally not even remotely related to us. However, it was pretty cool indeed!

For a few weeks, Butch had been telling me he had noticed a Bald Eagle circling near the tug boat. This excited me, as ye olde Bald Eagle was still on our endangered species list last time I checked. Butch had told me about how they were riding along on the tug, when all of a sudden, the eagle swooped in and was soaring right along side the tugboat. He described the broadness of the wings, the majestic white head feathers, and the powerful fwoosh fwoosh of his mighty wings as he powered up to glide.  But on this particular morning, Butch was especially thrilled to report that there were TWO Bald Eagles, one male, one female, nesting nearby. We set out, on the other side of the river, to try to catch a glimpse.

Picture us walking in the bright sunlight, gingerly easing our way through some shrubbery (well, ok, I eased gingerly. Butch just crashed on through. I was more afraid of bugs and snakes and such, but Butch, being the manly man that he is, was not even remotely concerned. He was a man on a mission.) We walked as far as we could down the river walk and stopped. I was excited. Everything that flew over head, from seagull to hawk to finch, was in my mind, our prized Eagle. I am certain Butch was quite annoyed with me asking "Is that him? Is that him?" over and over.

Finally, we stopped. My eyesight is not what it used to be, but my eagle eyed man (ha) had seen.......could it be? YES! It was our eagle!!!!

I managed to snap a couple of pics from veeeeeery far away, and then, my camera died! NOOOOOO! Snacklefrazzle! It DIED! And did I have extra batteries? Yes! But they were dead too. But ah ha! Cellphone! Sigh. Ye Old Blackberry doesn't capture a bird in a tree from across a river very well, no matter how much I begged it to.

So, here they are...the ones I got. We saw the female eagle as well, but she was deep in the tree, hiding. So enjoy the pics of my big fat mac daddy American Bald Eagle!

You can sort of see the nest in this picture, if you look very closely to the left of the eagle about 3/4 the way up the left side of the "V" branch

Tug Bulldog At Work

Tug Florida has several "sister tugs". As part of a larger family of tugs, at our local port the company has Tug Florida, Tug Georgia, Tug Savannah, Tug General Oglethorpe, and Tug Bulldog. The company also has tugs in Mobile and New Orleans.

The following photos are of Tug Bulldog on a routine job.

Note the unsuspecting tourist caught in the photo.....I love living in a tourist town :)

Tug Bulldog, following close

Approaching the Talmadge Bridge

Tug Bulldog moving into position

Tug Bulldog pushing the ship to the dock, with help of Tug Florida at the bow (but you can't see Tug Florida)

  Note the HUGE Ship-to-Shore cranes at the ports behind the tanker ship

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note the huge Ship-to-Shore cranes of the Ports in the background

Still pushing against the dock!

This is all in a days work. Tug Florida was traveling upriver on the port-side near the bow of the ship while I was taking these photos. She was hiding from the camera...a bit camera shy I suppose! The large red ship you see in the foreground is called a RORO...which stands for 'Roll on, Roll off". This type of ship brings in cars, trucks, military equipment, heavy equipment, you name it!

My Favorite Question.....

When people hear of Butcher's work schedule, most ask 'How do you do it? I could never be away from my spouse that long!"

The answer is simple. We do it, because we can.

Not every family is cut out for this lifestyle. There are ups and downs to it. Things always seem to break when Butch is on the boat. Band concerts, performances and special church activities always seem to fall on his "on" week. And Christmas? Yeah....see my post entitled "Schedules" for more on that.

The "ups" include things like more family time, a predictable schedule even YEARS in advance, and the fact that Butch loves his job. It pays well and he loves the water and the unpredictability daily activities of tug boat life. He has a great crew of people to work with.

But in all reality, it's relatively easy to live like we do. I was a US Navy wife for 10 years, with numerous deployments and West Pacs under my belt. Those were some hard days! I think about our military friends who live apart from their spouse for a year or long, when on unaccompanied tours or serving in Afghanistan. I think of the families of Longshoremen who go off for months into the dangerous waters of Alaska to fish. Quite simply, a week apart isn't that long in perspective.

The other thing is, WE GET ALONG GREAT! We usually joke that we never fight because we aren't together enough to do it! The truth is, we are together just long enough to start getting on each others nerves, and then it's time for him to leave. Then he's gone long enough that we start to miss each other, and then he comes home. We joke that the secret to a happy marriage is to only spend 6 months out of the year together. Truth be told, I think we appreciate each other more and spend more quality time together by living this life.

Being a tugboat family isn't always easy, but it's our life and we are happy with it! :)

From The Princess's View

Note: Excuse any randomness or bouncing around, it's just how my brain works.

My view of my Dad's job may be different from others. There are negatives to his job and schedule. The weeks he works we don't talk much, if any. I worry about him because his job is very dangerous, but I know he knows this and takes every precaution to protect himself and others. I miss him a lot. When he's working, sometimes I go on sort of an auto-pilot, then something small such as not being able to open a bottle of soda makes me think of him and miss him. He misses a lot of events, like my first high school band concert, Christmas and some birthdays.

I also see positives in his job. I know that he loves his job. I also know that it is a blessing that my Dad has a job right know when many others don't. He's home for a lot, like Thanksgiving and some birthdays. It's also pretty cool that we can go on vacation for a week and he doesn't have to take off work. I also believe that the time we are apart makes us closer when we're together. When he's home, we do a lot as a family and it makes up for the time he works.

-Marissa

Tug Florida

The tug Butcher has worked on for the past few years is Tug Florida. I thought I would share some pictures of the outside of the tug with you! Perhaps if I asks really sweetly I can get some "inside pics" for you next hitch!

 This is Tug Florida, from the starboard side. This picture was taken on Friday morning at crew change. That is Tug Georgia forward of Tug Florida.

 This is the wheelhouse, where the Captain runs the boat. Usually the Captain is alone but sometimes the wheelman may be there too.

This is Tug Florida returning to the dock after assisting the Maersk Sealander, a huge cargo ship, you see in the background. That ship is heading back out to sea to go to it's next port.

Here is a picture of Butch doing one of his jobs on board, tying up the boat at the dock after finishing with the Maersk Sealander in the picture above. The line he is handling is called a Handy Line or Tie-Up Line.

I hope you enjoyed this little tour!